a little gem i heard on radio tonight

SAME THING TWICE

 

Please stop me if I start to get old
If I start to dress according to the weather
Tell me if you find me blindly doing what I’m told
By some patronising middle aged receptionist called Heather

 

And if you find they’ve got to know me in the doctors
Please give me immediate advice
Always tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

Let me know the day that I stop talking loud in pubs
Or start to make a loud noise when I’m drinking
Tell me if I’ve started keeping empty margarine tubs
Or start to read the papers to find out what I’m thinking
And if I smell of anything, and by this I mean absolutely
Anything at all that isn’t nice
Always tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

But most of all, please take me on one side if I ever
Start saying things that aren’t what they used to be
That the jokes are not as funny now, the kids are not as clever
That once there was a time when you were more in love with me
Help me feel the same but not care if I don’t
Tell me if I say the same thing twice
And also tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

Please stop me if I start to get old
If I start to dress according to the weather
Tell me if you find me blindly doing what I’m told
By some patronising middle aged receptionist called Heather
Help me the same but not care if I don’t
Tell me if I say the same thing twice
And also tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

Music and Lyrics by TIM FIRTH