a little gem i heard on radio tonight

SAME THING TWICE

 

Please stop me if I start to get old
If I start to dress according to the weather
Tell me if you find me blindly doing what I’m told
By some patronising middle aged receptionist called Heather

 

And if you find they’ve got to know me in the doctors
Please give me immediate advice
Always tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

Let me know the day that I stop talking loud in pubs
Or start to make a loud noise when I’m drinking
Tell me if I’ve started keeping empty margarine tubs
Or start to read the papers to find out what I’m thinking
And if I smell of anything, and by this I mean absolutely
Anything at all that isn’t nice
Always tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

But most of all, please take me on one side if I ever
Start saying things that aren’t what they used to be
That the jokes are not as funny now, the kids are not as clever
That once there was a time when you were more in love with me
Help me feel the same but not care if I don’t
Tell me if I say the same thing twice
And also tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

Please stop me if I start to get old
If I start to dress according to the weather
Tell me if you find me blindly doing what I’m told
By some patronising middle aged receptionist called Heather
Help me the same but not care if I don’t
Tell me if I say the same thing twice
And also tell me if I start to say the same thing twice

 

Music and Lyrics by TIM FIRTH

Deutsch or English?

Jumping on the bandwagon and inspired by my talented writing better half I hereby give birth to my own blog - ta da! 

There were a number of very difficult, life changing decisions to make in the past 2 minutes... What to call my brain child? Should it be catchy, factual or just eccentric? Should it reflect my adventurous and exciting life in the shropshire plains? And most importantly, what language should it be in? I am torn between enlightening the Austrian half of my aquaintances and the lucky (or not so lucky) British who had the pleasure of meeting me.. I have decided to keep this one open. So, interested reader, I am keeping you in suspense eagerly expecting my exile Austrian, divorcee come happy mum living in the rural jungle of Shropshire views of the world. Keep your dictionaries by your side!

Long way round?

I left Austria 11 years ago. I lived in Helsinki before I ventured to Great Britain. I lived in Oxfordshire, Manchester, Cornwall and Plymouth before settling in the Shropshire plains. So, here I am. In a village even smaller than the one I left....

Back home I bumped into some locals in the pub I hadn’t seen for the best part of 10 years. They were very interested in my life in the UK (being not just an exile villager but also the local landlords daughter and having rather proud parents who keep everybody well informed I do attract a certain amount of attention).  After I explained that I now dwelled in the Shropshire plains in a significantly smaller village they pointed out that I might as well have stayed at home... hmmm... I laughed about it at the time but it did make me think.

At the tender age of 20 I wanted to see the world, experience other cultures, do weird, wonderful and amazing things and be everywhere else but at home. I did nothing by half – visiting a country wasn’t quite enough, I had to live it, breath it, eat and smell it (and drink quite a lot of its alcohol in the progress). Clueless, fearless and curious I floated through my early twenties collecting stories to tell my grandchildren.

And now? The only adventure I embark on is the fight with middle aged mothers over the “reduced” items in the meat isle in Tesco. Recently my sister in law and me spent an entire evening tracking down the name of her daughters’ favourite Bratz doll. The excitement I felt when we finally pressed the “Order” button on Amazon I could only describe as “orgasmic”. My days are filled with dirty nappies, dirty laundry, hoovering and dusting occasionally interrupted by blowing raspberries, drying tears after the 20^th tumble of the day, making bottles and brushing varieties of crumbs off my clothes.

Sounds familiar? Most women my age with young families will nod in agreement. Would my life be the same had I stayed in Austria? Most probably yes.  Would I become the super cool granny I am going to be? Not by a long way! Peace and love man! I’d do it all exactly the same way again....